11 April 2014

Appreciate A Diver



Published with navy.mil
In allowance of the American Navy for Appreciation Day 2014. 

If you ever feel the need to appreciate someone today- appreciate a diver. 

I had been one of the lucky ones whom the diver had decided to share his love of life with when he was back on predictable contemptible land in comparison to unpredictable seas. 

A salvage diver would be one who decides the comparative value and retrieves debris from debris in its aftermath. A state everyone would turn away from, struggle to look away yet do nothing about. 

One who salvages underwater- will value life more than most. Yet one would openly admit to giving in to death as no one would even have the cynical doubt they did anything less than fighting their hardest against the unknown. The ones here came out branded victorious warriors. 

One in this trade would have to pick material worth over one of breathing- even more than his own. And if one does, breathe, into another night of sleep- his drift has to be at peace with the the ones who doesn't, even if they were ones of his before. 

A diver would love talking to people more than listening. They have spent so much of their time listening to everyone's woes and the only method of help they could offer were the sighs of trapped air bubbles. The silence is too familiar to them as it is the noise they are around all the time alone with their shadows. 

A diver explores in the oceans of your tears and saves what no one else thought would ever be of worth. He would bring you back to shore, wipe you dry, and practice the art of kintsukuroi so you may be of more use to the world than you were already. Divers will see beauty in what most don't.

Appreciate a diver so you would practice appreciating sunny days and not take them for granted. Rainy thunderstorms would no longer be a setting for cuddling but rather fear of loss. You would find yourself worried with each thunderstorm and you would experience a reliving state of happiness more often each time the clouds part and as a reply notifies you of his survival. Sunshine would be the assurance of an earlier return.  He is a hero simply by living. 

You gradually develop a habit of frowning at news regarding oil spills but smile again at the remembrance of his humbleness to clean up literal messes of others' greed yet wears a sense of pride of his involvement. You would find yourself trying to save the earth, as if your change would change the world, and even if it did- even if within your lifetime. And good thing it doesn't as he would be out of a job. 

A diver would know fear better than most, understand vulnerability more than most, yet feel freedom more than most. 

I think we love the waters as that is where our heart awoke to being cared for, and everyone gets homesick. 

Ask him to do something you think is crazy and he would perform it as though it was his routine and look to be an expert at it. 

He would drive the fastest powered car and hire a mechanic to make it even faster. He would look like he had chewed fear and spat it out, rolled it and smoked it, as if the exhale of fear itself was just tobacco. And he would not be bitter about the taste, rather simply another cigarette his body just fought cancer against and won, and smile at you with those still sparkling eyes even curiosity is curious about.

A diver's body will be amazing. Irrelevant but an appreciative thought none the less. He will be well in tune with your body's movements as he has reinvented the waltz dancing away the days and nights with the seas fickle genre change. He will know when the waves are going to hit you, where the waters are deep and he can and will reach the depth no one has dared ventured. He knows your body as well as he knows the blueprint of the vessels he salvaged by first glance. 

He would be willing to give you his body and heart much more easily as his body belongs to the waters. Being a diver meant that you are now shared with the earth and yourself.

But his mind would prevent them with you. His mind had to protect his body and heart at work, to plan all outcomes before the possibilities, to believe nothing but his instincts, to recognize danger before danger itself. 

His mind would first struggle to categorize between the two ends that would never meet; and the heart eventually deciding between which was more familiar. Any first sign of would-be wreckage would cause him to unearth his anchor of a heart away to prevent ending up being dust of debris or the cause of sinking. 

He doesn't want to be rescued. He doesn't want to repair or fix anything else. He doesn't want any involvement in relation to the act of brokenness. He doesn't want to be the cause of why his job even exists. Not at where his heart is home. 

If you speak to a diver, listen to him like how he has to himself and the waters in the waters. He has given himself to the waters to prolong our lives here. 

If you ever meet a diver, thank him for actually saving the earth. 

If you ever need to appreciate someone today,
appreciate a diver.

18 January 2014

For The First Time





For The First Time


For the first time,
I see those colours
I hear the ones basking in happiness speak about.

That yellow, warm sunlight, starry night skies.
All my sorrows have melted away
Like glistening butter swirling
My head twirling, spinning,
How does his humbling words do that?

That natural confidence
Add his knowledge so vast
Regarding anything green
& in his mahogany arms,
I feel as though blanketed underneath
A pile of neatly swept autumn leaves
When we fall to sleep peacefully
Entwined at night.

Those blue, rings around his eyes
So kind baby, blew me away
Each time he calls my name
Sky- high;
He protects me with his life
I never needed to worry
If he would return, trust
Worthy man of his kind.

As though, my royal king in purple,
His mystery, will always hold my gaze.
Amazed, in a daze
Watching his lips turn up as he laughs
Innocence; my shoulders showing
Nervousness upon receiving his velvet
Kissing, vibrating till my toes, how does he do that?
Stealing my breath, dissolving my woes in it's effervescence.

That red, hot, scorching, intensifying
Excites every part of me, especially
His whispers of sweet
Everything-s, is turning me pink
Brings out of the woman in me
I have missed being around
His fiery passion of life, his spirit,
I now live the dream in reality
Of beautiful beginnings, in every awakening.

How he's so clear and precise,
So sure and concise of
How his life now comprised, of me.
When he hugs me from behind
I am blind,
Fireworks in the black skies;
White flashes of pictures never taken,
The rest of the world
Momentarily greys in comparison.

I've always paid attention to the negativity of life,
Always too close to resorting to the knife,
No longer need to fill, feel the void,
No longer paranoid,
&for the first time-
I no longer wake up
Shivering, shaking, withering like the flowers
In the beginning of winter mornings.

I have finally arrived at the end of the rainbow.

16 December 2013

Forever.


Forever


It started with
A late photo shoot, and a host for a show.
A finishing film, and a tear down for another show.
A smoke break, and a digit trade.
A how do you do, and a good night to you too.
A rhyming call, and a wondering ball.
A booty call, and a i give you my all.

It started with
A good morning smile, and a good night- see you in a while.
A how was your day, and a see you later anyway.
A I love you, and a me too.
A I know, I know, I know, and a sorrow, borrow, I don't know.
A hope you are fine, yes i still whine, no we can't dine,
A song that reminds, a mind that rewinds, a bind that still, pines.

It started with
Oh you swine, oh you slime, oh you stupid? Fine.
Old and kind, Old and, never mind.
One more chance, one more dance, one more techno trance.
One more rave, one more slave, one more grave.
One more hit, one more bit, one more slit..

I stayed true and thru and through,
Out I went, out I spent, out I am again,
Still I love, still I live, still I lie,
Here, once more, here, once alone, here, stolen.

It ended with a
Thank you, Think you, Thought you,
For everything, For nothing, For anything,
You were right, You are light, You have taken away my fight.
Now I see only you,
Hear only you,
Think only you.

It started with a please smile,
It started with we smile,
It started with a waste of miles,
It ended with my smile.
Waiting, for a while, counting tiles.

I'll get there.
I'm sorry for breaking your spirit.
x