I Want You To Know That I am Thankful

I want you to know, 

that you are the reason why I even pull myself out of bed instead of the covers over my head. 

That you are the reason why I look forward to the sun rising in anticipation of hearing your voice fill the air, 

and to allow laughter be induced from depths within myself I never knew exist.

I want you to know, that I emphatize.

 That I curse myself for not expanding my circle earlier, 

or perhaps went in search for you with more intent,

 so that perhaps I could have prevented your heartaches, 

or even have been there to offer you my presence.

 Call me egoistic, but I am sure I would have made a difference. 

My thoughts on this remain affirmative as your embraces have made my tears dry up faster, 

kept my being warmer than I ever knew I could be.

I want you to know, that I will hold onto your dreams, 

even if no one else thinks they are plausible. 

I will put them on display them above mine, shine them every so often- 

that when you are ready to adorn them like medals that they are, 

I can remind you of why they even materialized in the first place. 

Always remember, that your dreams- 

even the very simple crux of the idea, holds weight in my heart, 

to keep me down to earth, so you may go beyond this world.

 And especially on the nights where you do not believe in them, or yourself, that I always will- 

simply because you have salvaged mine when I dispose of them every so often.

I want you to know, that you have made me smile and turned things around. 

Whenever I have imagined my reflection, 

it has never been one that made my heart beat faster with excitement and impatience. 

It has been said that the ones you let yourself be around should be the ones you see yourself to become-

 and I can safely announce that you have given me a goal to better myself 

and to remember that there are flowers I have not seen bloom in my garden, 

if only I would listen to your reminders to keep them watered.

I want you to know, that I am grateful. 

I who have been blessed with the words to express, 

have not yet found the words to describe the light you have ignited in my soul 

to allow me to glance around myself, realizing that perhaps, 

there is more to what my options have lead me to. 

And for that, thank you to you.

I have to let you know, however, 

that I am terrible at keeping people around. 

I tend to be clumsier than most and slip back into my somber self too often, 

and I hope you would bother to carry me back up so that you may always be in view, 

so that I may push on with your hands in mine, till I may walk with no aid once again. 

I guess I just wanted you to know, 

that I am thankful for the Universe to forcefully meet you despite my predicament. 

That you have clouded my mind and given my heart with all these maybes, 

which I have ran out of a while ago. 

Thank you for switching all my impossibilities into something possible. 

Thank you for existing. 

Appreciate A Diver

Published with navy.mil

In allowance of the American Navy for Appreciation Day 2014. 

If you ever feel the need to appreciate someone today- appreciate a diver. 

I had been one of the lucky ones whom the diver had decided to share his love of life with when he was back on predictable contemptible land in comparison to unpredictable seas. 

A salvage diver would be one who decides the comparative value and retrieves debris from debris in its aftermath. A state everyone would turn away from, struggle to look away yet do nothing about. 

One who salvages underwater- will value life more than most. Yet one would openly admit to giving in to death as no one would even have the cynical doubt they did anything less than fighting their hardest against the unknown. The ones here came out branded victorious warriors. 

One in this trade would have to pick material worth over one of breathing- even more than his own. And if one does, breathe, into another night of sleep- his drift has to be at peace with the the ones who doesn't, even if they were ones of his before. 

A diver would love talking to people more than listening. They have spent so much of their time listening to everyone's woes and the only method of help they could offer were the sighs of trapped air bubbles. The silence is too familiar to them as it is the noise they are around all the time alone with their shadows. 

A diver explores in the oceans of your tears and saves what no one else thought would ever be of worth. He would bring you back to shore, wipe you dry, and practice the art of kintsukuroi so you may be of more use to the world than you were already. Divers will see beauty in what most don't.

Appreciate a diver so you would practice appreciating sunny days and not take them for granted. Rainy thunderstorms would no longer be a setting for cuddling but rather fear of loss. You would find yourself worried with each thunderstorm and you would experience a reliving state of happiness more often each time the clouds part and as a reply notifies you of his survival. Sunshine would be the assurance of an earlier return.  He is a hero simply by living. 

You gradually develop a habit of frowning at news regarding oil spills but smile again at the remembrance of his humbleness to clean up literal messes of others' greed yet wears a sense of pride of his involvement. You would find yourself trying to save the earth, as if your change would change the world, and even if it did- even if within your lifetime. And good thing it doesn't as he would be out of a job. 

A diver would know fear better than most, understand vulnerability more than most, yet feel freedom more than most. 

I think we love the waters as that is where our heart awoke to being cared for, and everyone gets homesick. 

Ask him to do something you think is crazy and he would perform it as though it was his routine and look to be an expert at it. 

He would drive the fastest powered car and hire a mechanic to make it even faster. He would look like he had chewed fear and spat it out, rolled it and smoked it, as if the exhale of fear itself was just tobacco. And he would not be bitter about the taste, rather simply another cigarette his body just fought cancer against and won, and smile at you with those still sparkling eyes even curiosity is curious about.

A diver's body will be amazing. Irrelevant but an appreciative thought none the less. He will be well in tune with your body's movements as he has reinvented the waltz dancing away the days and nights with the seas fickle genre change. He will know when the waves are going to hit you, where the waters are deep and he can and will reach the depth no one has dared ventured. He knows your body as well as he knows the blueprint of the vessels he salvaged by first glance. 

He would be willing to give you his body and heart much more easily as his body belongs to the waters. Being a diver meant that you are now shared with the earth and yourself.

But his mind would prevent them with you. His mind had to protect his body and heart at work, to plan all outcomes before the possibilities, to believe nothing but his instincts, to recognize danger before danger itself. 

His mind would first struggle to categorize between the two ends that would never meet; and the heart eventually deciding between which was more familiar. Any first sign of would-be wreckage would cause him to unearth his anchor of a heart away to prevent ending up being dust of debris or the cause of sinking. 

He doesn't want to be rescued. He doesn't want to repair or fix anything else. He doesn't want any involvement in relation to the act of brokenness. He doesn't want to be the cause of why his job even exists. Not at where his heart is home. 

If you speak to a diver, listen to him like how he has to himself and the waters in the waters. He has given himself to the waters to prolong our lives here. 

If you ever meet a diver, thank him for actually saving the earth. 

If you ever need to appreciate someone today,

appreciate a diver.