I Want You To Know That I am Thankful

I want you to know, 

that you are the reason why I even pull myself out of bed instead of the covers over my head. 

That you are the reason why I look forward to the sun rising in anticipation of hearing your voice fill the air, 

and to allow laughter be induced from depths within myself I never knew exist.

I want you to know, that I emphatize.

 That I curse myself for not expanding my circle earlier, 

or perhaps went in search for you with more intent,

 so that perhaps I could have prevented your heartaches, 

or even have been there to offer you my presence.

 Call me egoistic, but I am sure I would have made a difference. 

My thoughts on this remain affirmative as your embraces have made my tears dry up faster, 

kept my being warmer than I ever knew I could be.

I want you to know, that I will hold onto your dreams, 

even if no one else thinks they are plausible. 

I will put them on display them above mine, shine them every so often- 

that when you are ready to adorn them like medals that they are, 

I can remind you of why they even materialized in the first place. 

Always remember, that your dreams- 

even the very simple crux of the idea, holds weight in my heart, 

to keep me down to earth, so you may go beyond this world.

 And especially on the nights where you do not believe in them, or yourself, that I always will- 

simply because you have salvaged mine when I dispose of them every so often.

I want you to know, that you have made me smile and turned things around. 

Whenever I have imagined my reflection, 

it has never been one that made my heart beat faster with excitement and impatience. 

It has been said that the ones you let yourself be around should be the ones you see yourself to become-

 and I can safely announce that you have given me a goal to better myself 

and to remember that there are flowers I have not seen bloom in my garden, 

if only I would listen to your reminders to keep them watered.

I want you to know, that I am grateful. 

I who have been blessed with the words to express, 

have not yet found the words to describe the light you have ignited in my soul 

to allow me to glance around myself, realizing that perhaps, 

there is more to what my options have lead me to. 

And for that, thank you to you.

I have to let you know, however, 

that I am terrible at keeping people around. 

I tend to be clumsier than most and slip back into my somber self too often, 

and I hope you would bother to carry me back up so that you may always be in view, 

so that I may push on with your hands in mine, till I may walk with no aid once again. 

I guess I just wanted you to know, 

that I am thankful for the Universe to forcefully meet you despite my predicament. 

That you have clouded my mind and given my heart with all these maybes, 

which I have ran out of a while ago. 

Thank you for switching all my impossibilities into something possible. 

Thank you for existing. 

Forever.

Forever

It started with
A late photo shoot, and a host for a show.
A finishing film, and a tear down for another show.
A smoke break, and a digit trade.
A how do you do, and a good night to you too.
A rhyming call, and a wondering ball.
A booty call, and a i give you my all.

It started with
A good morning smile, and a good night- see you in a while.
A how was your day, and a see you later anyway.
A I love you, and a me too.
A I know, I know, I know, and a sorrow, borrow, I don't know.
A hope you are fine, yes i still whine, no we can't dine,
A song that reminds, a mind that rewinds, a bind that still, pines.

It started with
Oh you swine, oh you slime, oh you stupid? Fine.
Old and kind, Old and, never mind.
One more chance, one more dance, one more techno trance.
One more rave, one more slave, one more grave.
One more hit, one more bit, one more slit..

I stayed true and thru and through,
Out I went, out I spent, out I am again,
Still I love, still I live, still I lie,
Here, once more, here, once alone, here, stolen.

It ended with a
Thank you, Think you, Thought you,
For everything, For nothing, For anything,
You were right, You are light, You have taken away my fight.
Now I see only you,
Hear only you,
Think only you.

It started with a please smile,
It started with we smile,
It started with a waste of miles,
It ended with my smile.
Waiting, for a while, counting tiles.

I'll get there.
I'm sorry for breaking your spirit.
x